Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
