Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I understand Curling. That high.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
