Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
