I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You dont lie about slip and slides
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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