i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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