i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
