I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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