I want to make a zoo with you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
