She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
