your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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