Your tits are I can't wait for
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
