You're my little dorito
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
