I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
