his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
