so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
