He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you never un-have a 4some
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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