As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sext me about skeletons
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
