i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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