just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
