uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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