He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize