my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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