you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
