Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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