but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
