I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
