Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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