He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
