Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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