They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
