It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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