Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
