Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
