so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Randomize
