You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
