This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
