I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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