I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
