you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
