his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
