I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
