I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
