i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
you never un-have a 4some
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
