Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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