4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
