I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
