I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
