found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
