You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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