Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
