yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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