this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
