New invention idea: vibrating tampons
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
