Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
