Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
