You're my little dorito
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
